Private Investigator Employment Opportunity (Humor)

Are you cut out to be a private investigator?Are you cut out to be a private investigator?  Please answer “Yes” or “No” to the following questions:

1. Are you able to withstand temperatures exceeding 120 degrees while sitting in your underwear in the back of a vehicle peeing in a bottle and eating 7-Eleven brownies while staring at a garage door for upwards of 10 hours per day?

2. Have you given up all hope of sustaining any type of romantic relationship due to the nature, hours, location, and the physical/mental toll of your work or job?

3. Have you ever lived under a bridge?

4. Does the lease agreement on your vehicle allow you to drive 3,500 miles per month?

5. Do you believe that the more injured a worker is, the faster he or she drives?

6. Are you able to maintain calm and grace when confronted by a supervisor who demands an explanation for why you lost the subject when all he did was drive 95 mph down the 710 Freeway and run two yellow/red lights once he got off?

7. Are you able to blend in at the Hometown Buffet or the local union hall meeting while filming with a hidden camera on roughly 60% of the cases that you run?

8. Do you enjoy being pulled out of your vehicle at gunpoint by a rookie police officer whose shaking gun is reminiscent of Gene Wilder’s in “Blazing Saddles?”

If you can answer “Yes” to all of the above, you will be considered for employment as a surveillance investigator.

Susie Wright, The PI’s Confidential Virtual Office Assistant, has been serving the private investigation community for over 30 years by providing accurate transcription and editing services. Additional information about Susie and her company, Wright’s Typing Company can be found through her website, via email or directly at (661) 821-1656.