How to protect yourself from surrogacy scammers who prey on infertile couples’ dreams of parenthood
For couples who desperately want a child but are unable to conceive, surrogacy can be a beacon of hope. But in my work as a private investigator, I’ve seen the dark side of this hopeful venture: surrogacy scams.
The emotional cocktail of hope and heartache can make infertile couples targets for a host of cruel scams in the surrogacy realm. My experiences working for anguished clients who’ve been preyed upon by fraudsters cemented my mission to safeguard parents as they navigate the surrogacy industry.
1. Emotional Entrapment: An Ongoing Deception
One case involved a resilient couple who had endured multiple failed IVF attempts. Their emotional vulnerability led them into the welcoming arms of an online surrogate community. Among the genuine stories and support, they connected with a woman portraying herself as an empathetic and willing surrogate.
As weeks turned into months, the bond strengthened. This “surrogate” shared tales of her children and her motivations to help families, and she even sent them gifts of baby clothes. Every step of their journey together was punctuated by tales of crises: hospital emergencies, sudden evictions, and abusive relationships. With each plot twist came a request for funds.
The couple, wanting to support their surrogate in what they believed was a shared dream, continued to provide financial assistance. Their story reached a painful crescendo a year later when all communication ceased. Despite investing their emotions, trust, and thousands of dollars, they were left grappling with betrayal and loss.
The surrogate, it seemed, never intended to carry a child for them.
2. Fabricated Medical Reports: An Illusion of Progress
In another case, a couple seeking an international surrogate reached out, armed with medical records, ultrasound images, and receipts. They had been diligently sending money abroad to cover the surrogate’s medical and living expenses.
My investigation soon unraveled a tapestry of deceit. The clinics mentioned had never heard of the surrogate. The medical professionals’ names used were either nonexistent or stolen from real doctors with no knowledge of the situation. The ultrasound images? Generic photos pulled from the internet.
This elaborate ruse had one sole purpose: to siphon funds from hopeful parents.
3. The Phantom Surrogate: An Agency of Illusions
One of the most sophisticated surrogate scams I’ve encountered involved a sham surrogacy agency. Potential parents were wooed with glossy brochures, heartfelt surrogate testimonials, and even staged meetings. Once substantial fees were secured, the agency’s communication became sporadic. The intended parents were often pacified with excuses of legal complications or medical delays.
But the promised surrogates never existed.
Shielding Yourself from Deception
How can you protect yourself from fraudsters who prey on prospective parents? Working as a private investigator has taught me to look behind the curtain and make no assumptions. A mindset like this — in partnership with legal and investigative professionals who know what to look for — can help protect you. Information is power.
Vigilant Vetting
The importance of due diligence cannot be overstated. While you’d want to believe in the innate goodness of people, always verify claims, check references, and ask probing questions. It never hurts to meet a surrogate in person. Ask for references. If she’s been a surrogate before, ask to speak to previous clients (and check to be sure they’re real, too).
Ideally, hire a professional to do a thorough background check — a cheap online background check service won’t cut it.
Legal Oversight
Always engage a lawyer well-versed in surrogacy laws. Let them review any contracts or agreements to ensure your interests are safeguarded.
Third-party Escrow Services
Instead of direct payments, use escrow services. They’ll ensure funds are released only upon the completion of specific milestones.
Takeaways
In the majority of surrogacy scam cases I’ve encountered, by the time the deception is revealed, it’s challenging to reclaim lost funds or locate the fraudsters — who are adept at covering their tracks. Some clients hire private investigators like me in the aftermath of a scam to trace the culprits, uncover deleted correspondence, and conduct asset searches. While we sometimes DO succeed in finding the scammer, recovering clients’ money, and/or handing over evidence to the authorities, the legal process can be lengthy and doesn’t guarantee restitution — or closure. And even when we obtain a good legal outcome, parents are often left emotionally and financially scarred.
Preventative measures are so much more effective than investigations after the fact. Being informed, vigilant, and proactive is your best defense. Do your due diligence. Document everything. It’s my job as a private investigator to help you keep your hopes alive with your eyes wide open: You trust; I’ll verify.
About the author:
Tyler Rodgers, founder of Privin Network, has worked in investigations, law enforcement, and risk consulting for more than 12 years. Based in Arizona, Privin Network provides an extensive suite of services, ranging from domestic cases and insurance investigations to due diligence, skip tracing, and managing online reputations in today’s digital era. He has a degree in criminal justice and cybercrime and served in the U.S. Navy as a military police officer in the States and abroad.